When discussing my teen memoir Off Balanced (available on the Kindle and Nook) I often focus on the disability theme yet Off Balanced maintains a much more universal lesson. The book provides a tale about building self-esteem. My shy, doubting, self-consciousness attitude growing up just happened to stem from my mild cerebral palsy. You might experience a different trigger but I bet we share similarities. Personally I believe shaking poor self-esteem involves a lesson taught to me back in sixth grade.
“For other people to like you, you first must like you.”
Today I hope the following three tips help you like you, ultimately allowing you to project confidence.
Remember It’s Not Personal
Sometime schedules conflict. If someone can’t spend time with you on a particular occasion, do not take it personally! A “Sorry, I’m busy then” does not necessarily translate to “I don’t like you.” Admittedly a few select individuals may not enjoy your presence and they will lean on excuses to avoid telling you the harsh truth “I don’t want to spend time with you.”
Note the word “few,” a key term in the previous sentence. How can you identify those few from the masses? Pay attention to behavior. Do you always instigate the communication? Does the other person act detached when around you? Forget those people! Why let someone with obvious bad taste (I mean they don’t like you, right? ;)) bring you down?
Focus on Accomplishing Your Goals
Accomplishment breeds self-confidence. I know publishing Off Balanced unexpectedly improved my self-esteem. So set a goal meaningful to you, draw up a plan to reach said goal, and execute that plan. Incorporate short-term goals within your bigger long-term goals to increase your ability to succeed and reasons to feel good about you.
Perhaps the most important tip here revolves around honesty. By remaining honest through both your actions and words you can establish a strong identity, a critical element to building confidence. For example, Friday night I saw Tim McGraw in concert at Blossom Music Center. I debated internally during the week about whether I should bring my cane to help me handle the steep grassy hill area known as “lawn seating.” Bringing the cane won the debate inside my head and I’m glad I stayed honest with myself. The cane allowed me to exert less energy physically, enabling me to fully enjoy the show confidently.